On Courage

I don’t ever remember learning to read, I just always knew I could. 

I’ve also always been writing. But I always held myself back from sharing it. Lacked the courage. Silenced my own voice. Diminished my own talent.

 And let me tell you, as you get older? Doing all these things gets tiresome, boring and exhausting.

 So this year has been quite the journey. In February, I had an idea for a story, in September I’m published. Some days, when I think back over the past 6 months I wonder where all the words came from. And while, yes, I do believe that my ability to write is a divine gift, the biggest shift was this: I put aside my fears and got busy writing.

 The Shoemaker: A Tale of Love, Magic & Unnatural Acts is my first novel, although it is not the first thing I have ever written. There have been numerous essays, poems, short stories, and screenplays, amongst other scribblings. But I had no idea how to write a novel. I have read hundreds, probably thousands  of novels (a degree in English Literature is an absolute blessing when you want to be a writer), but never written one before. So I decided this book would NOT be perfect. It would, in fact, be the book where I learned to write a novel.

 There were good days where the words flowed from that mysterious place inside all of us that houses our talents and abilities. And there were bad days, where every single word on the page felt like trash. There were days when I would scream at my characters (particularly Edward), what the hell are you doing? You’re embarrassing me! Yet, I kept on writing because he had taken on a life of his own.

Through this process, I’ve had to confront every voice inside me that has fought to keep me invisible and small. And more importantly, I’ve had to take responsibility, for every voice outside of me that I allowed to quash, control or damage my creativity.  

I really do dream of a world, where every child overcomes whatever fear may keep them silent and finds the freedom to express their creativity — whatever form that may take.  And since we are all forever somebody’s child, it is never to late to look into our inner shadows, grab hold of that pure creativity, shake off the cobwebs and bring it into the light. 

 So, here’s to dreams. And may yours come true.

 xo

K

 

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